KL: Yeah, I mean, it's kind of weird. Like, my husband [Andrew] and I have been together for a long time, like we met in college… I've always [done music], you know, I took piano lessons, and I was in musicals and stuff growing up. I've always been a singer but he's really a multi-instrumentalist. He got interested in digital home recording stuff pretty early on and has been on top of all the software. Early on we tried to make songs together and we did a couple, but it felt pretty labored so we kind of gave up. But like, when I was writing this book, I just was kind of inspired by some shows I'd been to. And I just kind of, somehow this character just like presented herself to me. I started writing about it without really thinking. [And] if music is a central aspect of this, like, it's hard to write about something that doesn't actually exist.

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​14H: Yeah.

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KL: It's hard to describe something if you don't know what it sounds like. So I just kept bumping up against that, like, the whole beginning came really easily. And then [I got to a point where] now I'm talking about songs, and songs are like way more than just lyrics. I had an idea for one, and I kind of just like sang into a voice memo and was like, Andrew, do you think could you help me with this? And he's like, oh, this is really cool [and came up with the instrumentals] I come up with words and melody and kind of then like kick it to him.

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14H: That’s really cool…Do you feel like that gave you more insight to the writing process that the characters go through?

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KL: Yeah, you know, I think, um, you know, I've always kind of wanted to be like a singer-songwriter or something. But yeah, I mean, it gave me something to describe…it really was just like a matter of verisimilitude. It just felt fake to me if there wasn't really music but then yeah, that process of like, kind of clicking into an idea and collaborating because I've never really, you know, as you know, from an MFA program, you give and get a lot of feedback. There's not a lot of collaboration. [Unless] if there's like a screenwriting program or something. Fiction writing tends to be fairly solitary. So, to kind of get something to a point where I felt like a different perspective, like he can do the next thing, you know, and then bring it back to me. That was really cool. . . but yeah, I felt like I could understand how close, you know, kind of changed our relationship or like added another dimension to our relationship and, um, how just working on something like that together and getting excited about a process like that could change, you know, could like bring about relationships or change relationships.

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14H: I've only read the excerpt, but I assume the central relationship of Dean's and Joanna and like how [age gap relationships] is like such a very real phenomenon but a very tricky phenomenon to write about. I feel like even just from the excerpt, I can tell that you write it in a very nuanced way. And I was wondering how you kind of go about that.

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KL: I think it's a really murky thing to write about the age differences, you know, it’s obviously not okay… and yet, like, it kind of comes out of that feeling, you know, being that age and just being like, I want something exciting to happen. So, it progresses pretty much like, as you would expect, um, which is kind of interesting as a reader because I've read a lot of books with that kind of adult man plus teen girl plot line, right? Like, it's not an unusual plot line. The kind of uncomfortable thing about it as a reader, I think, is that that's the plot. And so in a way, you kind of are like, wanting it to happen or waiting for it to happen. Like this sort of uncomfortable complicity. That kind of dynamic is what drew me to this plot because it's uncomfortable. People are carrying around these stories all the time. And it's not even a secret at all, like in rock music.

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14H: Right, it's kind of the history of rock music.

 

KL: Like Jimmy Page is fine…he [and other rock stars] haven’t really been held accountable. So, it's sort of this culturally accepted thing in a way. And I think, you know, that has changed.

 

14H: It has, yeah.

 

KL: Yeah but you know the book is set in 1992. It’s funny the 1992 section came so easily for me and fast. But half of it takes place in 2021. And that has been the hard part. Because what does it mean? What does she make of it 30 years later? When she hears from other people who had something happen with him you know?

 

14H: That’s the thing about that is that when that's something like that happens, you think that you're the only one and then you realize

 

KL: I think there’s this question that she’s grappling with, which I haven’t really resolved while working on the book, which is it’s personal but there’s also a sense of collective responsibility. The question of what is the benefit of telling her story? Personally, and for the greater good. I haven’t figured that all out yet.

 

14H: That’s a big question

 

KL: I’ve wondered if I could just do the 1992 parts, if that’s the heart of the story, but that’s the story we all know. I need to see her be an adult and be a mother and deal with this.